Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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