What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
