What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
