The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
