Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
