some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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