it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
