are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
