Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
