yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So many bounce houses so little time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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