And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
