If that was your dad, he is hot
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
