I can't watch pbs sober anymore
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
