Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
