I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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