dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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