i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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