I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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