I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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