Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm passing your future prison.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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