I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
