Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
