had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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