Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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