I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your penis caused this!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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