Barsexuality is the new black.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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