She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
