oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
