saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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