just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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