porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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