drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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