Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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