Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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