I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
