He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
