apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't deserve a penis
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
