Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
