Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
