New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
