well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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