i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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