i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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