He had one of those small greek statue penises
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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