I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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