he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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