just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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