I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
