You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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