so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
