Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
