I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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