Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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