dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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