I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
