Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
