I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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