Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
