thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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