i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
