NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
