i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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