I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh god it's open bar.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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