chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drunk is not a location!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
