Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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