It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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