I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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