Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
