I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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