This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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