I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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