New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
